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The Olympic Drinking Games

Flo • Dez. 06, 2021

The Gods have risen!

Some moments of a journey are unforgettable. Some moments are extraordinary. And some are simply epic. And then, there are moments that combine all of the aforementioned. This is the story of how we came across the tales of gods and godesses, when 10 fellow travellers* all followed our invitation to meet in ancient OLYMPIA to once again light the olympic flame and celebrate the FIRST OLYMPIC DRINKING GAMES...!


* 🇬🇧 ENG: ...some of which are non-german speakers, which is why this article is witten for once in english.

But feel free to use the translation tool in the top right corner of this webpage ;)

* 🇩🇪 DEU: ...von denen einige nicht-deutschsprachig unterwegs sind, weswegen dieser Artikel ausnahmsweise in Englisch verfasst wurde.

Aber fühl dich frei, unser Übersetzungs-Werkzeug in der rechten oberen Ecke zu benutzen ;)


It all started with the following announcements to a newly formed whatsapp-group in the name of Dionysos and Bacchus:

(These are the original messages!)

"For centuries, a dispute has been waging! The endless war between cultures, an ongoing fight, all about one single topic: Who are the superior gods - The Roman or the Greek?
This must come to an end and this weekend, this question is going to be decided once and for all!

Let me introduce myself: I, Dionysos, Greek God of the wine, insanity and festivity and my fiercest Roman enemy, Bacchus, will, in the following, be setting the framework and rules for this epic battle!!!

So read carefully, for the sake of your destiny is at stake!

We are inviting you to ancient Olympia, where the strongest of athletes have been competing against each other for ages and where it is all going to be decided!"

  • The historic disciplines,

    Olympic Running
    Discus throw
    Pentathlon
    Pankartion
    Javelin
    and Chariot race

    will be revived in the first
    Olympic Drinking Games! And they will once and for all decide over all of your fate! (How these categories are carried out will be explained to you at a later point.)

    You have now been chosen as competitors, each of you being a strong and powerful god on your own, but only as a strong team will you be able to win this unforgettable fight, that generations will tell tales about to their children and grandchildren!

    Justitia will now assign you to a side that you will join forces with:

    "Now, let me, Bacchus, speak:
    Justitia has just assigned you to your team!

    Please, now, choose a character that suits you well and introduce yourself as either one of the ancient Greek or Roman God's!

    You may also choose an outfit that suits your side, be it white dresses for the Greeks or else a red wardrobe for the Roman empire!

    Unfortunately, even Gods have their weak spots... As for me, Bacchus, it is that I tend to swear a lot under the influence of the good Roman wine. Therefore, if I shout out "damn it!", I shall be 'punished' by taking a big sip from the nearest alcoholic beverage.

    So is it for all of you, each of you must also state a word that is forbidden for you and that can only be annulled by taking a gulp of a strong spirit! (In Germany, we call it Schnapswort 😄)"

    "For me, Dionysos, as I am never in charge, I may never mention the word "sorry"☝🏻or else I need to drink the drink of oblivion...

    One last commandment, though, and then all is set:

    
    You, as you will participate in a number of heroic tasks, will need strong reinforcements in order to do so.
    Make sure, that you provide yourself with a reasonable amount of provisions (alcoholic drinks) for the event. I, as the god of wine and delight, recommend (per two persons) one bottle of a tasteful spirit and at least one box of your favourite beverage, ideally in containers with 0.3 Litres volume."

    "So, let me conclude, since my opponent Dionysos tends to loose himself in too much babbeling:

    - Find a Greek/Roman God (depending on your team)
    - Introduce yourself with that name to the group
    - State your "Schnapswort"
    - If you like, find a white, resp. red outfit
    - Buy a lot of alcohol in 0.3L containers and have your favourite liquor at hand!

    And then...


    LET THE GAMES BEGIN! 🏆🍻"


    Not too long after, an adequate battle arena had been found, which, coincidentally, was an empty villa (also called the Olympic Village)

    in the town of Olympia


    and eight more gods introduced themselves and declared their contributions to this epic event:

    INTRODUCTION of the GODS


    "I am APOLLO, worshipped as the god of the sun as well as the arts!
    Gratefully I accept the invitation of the gods Bacchus & Dionysos. I´m pleased to join the upcoming Olympic Contest of Gods against the Romans and I'll bother you with my presence!
    Pure tongue I name the word "good" to my liquor word!
    To a pleasant competition vowed gods!"

    "I also express my gratitude to the great gods, Dionysus and Bacchus.
    With great honor I accept the invitation to the Olympic Drinking 🍷 Games against the Greeks! 🇬🇷
    I am
    ARTEMIS, the Goddess of the Hunt 🏹 and in the heat of the moment am inclined to use "F***(-ing)" as my "Schnapsword"
    I am looking forward to this epic tournament 🏟️ & my fellow competitors!
    Here´s to fair competition & as already Poseidon 🔱 used to say; May the better ones win! 🏆"

    "As you might have already expect it, I am APHRODITE, God of the Beauty & Love. I am proud to got invited from Bacchus & Dionysos to the Olympic Drinking Games. With my hidden skills, we - the Greeks - will fight & win against the Romans. My „Schnapswort“ will be „omg“.
    May the prettiest win!"

    "This is VESTA, member of the Red Roman Heroes and battelling against the Greek this Saturday 🍻 Vesta is very glad, as the goddess of home and hearth🔥🍞, that she is invited to a home with oven. Thus, "oven" will be her forbidden word. May the best team win 💪"

    "ZEUS wants to thank his dear son Bacchus and Dionysus for the opportunity to display his and the Greek superiority over the petty roman trash. As ruler of All and Everything "I" am the greatest. To celebrate my greatness "I" will DRINK!

    (Apperently bold does not work with photos 😅)"

    "Oh, I was so busy working the whole day! - God damn yeah, it’s weekend! My GodJob is very important and it’s not so easy to be in time. I‘am carry you’re messages from North to South, from Est to West in a short time. Sometimes the you get a wrong message, but that’s no problem, anotherone get a wrong message too. In addition to my job, I‘m also responsible for the financial gain, commerce, travelers, luck, trickery and thieves.
    But there is one more thing…my Schnapswort is lost in the post, so I can’t find it now.
    See ya later gods!
    ~
    MERCURY / GodHermesDelivery🪶"

    "It was with great joy that I received the invitation of Dionysus and Bacchus from my servants 📜

    I am POSEIDON, the Greek god of the sea 🔱

    and I happily accept this invitation to fight the Romans!⚔️

    Due to my strong expression of cheerfulness,

    I was assigned the schnapps word "funny",

    after which I have to delight in the cool drink. 🍷

    Now I will take advantage of the phase of the waning moon and retreat into the depths of the ocean to be ready for the epic battle against the Romans at the new moon this weekend. 🌔

    May the better win! 🏛"


    In preparation for the upcoming sportive event, the gods and godesses met one day earlier to visit a greek restaurant and indulge themselves in the finest foods and wines of the local cuisine...

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    And then, the next day,


    the olympic flame was lit and with fierce ambition, a waging battle ensued, including disciplines such as liquor-loaden relay-running, that turned out to be a head-to-head tournament for the senses of balance and frisbee-discus-throwing-flunkyball, that led some of the athletes to take the unconceivablest measures in order to win...


    Throughout a whole day, the competitors would not let each other off, giving their best in a impressive speed-penthathlon with the fanciest poses and the worst cameras, fighting intensely and even more creatively in a ring fight of schri-schro-schraaa, dodging every attempt to be lured onto the dark side by the gummibears of hell...


    and it was not until the final two disciplines, spear-throwing-beerpong with divine intervention and a furious horse-race-cage, that the greek gods could finally prove their superority, which, at this point, however, could in no way affect the cheerful and exciting atmosphere of the whole evening that ended late in the morning, after rounds and rounds of "inverse who-am-I" next to the cosy chimney fire. With none of the olympic villages beds being used, since every god decided to sleep in their own carriages, that obviously tempted to be more comfortable and inviting than luxurious mansion-beds, this is how the epic battle ended.


    And, after a palatial breakfast the next morning (where we learned about the best way to prepare the most delicious pita), the gods parted ways again, on to further adventures in the land of olive oil, gorgeous gorges and raki...


    but those are different stories.

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